Why You REALLY Didn't Like The 2020 Superbowl Halftime Show
I confess I know nothing about football. To me, it just looks like a bunch of men in funny outfits lining up, running into each other, falling down, and lining up to do it all over again. I wouldn’t know a first down from a badminton birdie and quite frankly, I’m fine with that. Funny how often I end up writing about football, though, what with all the racism that happens around it, and now I have to go and talk about it again.
BECAUSE HOLY SEXIST XENOPHOBIA, AMERICA. WHEN IT COMES TO THE 2020 HALFTIME SHOW, AAAAAALLLLLLLLL YOUR ISMS ARE SHOWING.
Imma gonna try to break all this shiz down for you, because the comments I’m seeing on my Facebook feed are ignorant and annoying. And to be honest, I was already pretty annoyed today, and really not in the mood to write, and then I saw all these comments which made me actually have to go Google this show and spend 14 minutes of my life watching something I really have no interest in, because no offense whatsoever but I’d probably rather read Rumi and listen to Indigo Girls or Everclear. But everyone was freaking out so much I thought certainly they must have engaged in something really horrific like child sacrifice or flag burning or some other very anti-American thing that would get everyone’s panties in such a damn twist. So, with much resignation, off I went on Google and clicked play.
And all I can say is, damn. Those women kicked ass. Now, I know some people saw a whole lot of other things, which I will get to in a moment, but what I saw was two women who were enjoying the power and beauty and athleticism of their own bodies for their own damn selves and THAT, my friends, is a beautiful thing. I saw two women owning it. I saw them sharing their culture with passion and joy and most of America was too damn uninformed to know that’s what was happening. Instead, all us good white Christians just got all excited about another chance to be offended.
So I’m gonna boil down the gist of most of the comments I saw on Facebook. Shall we? Let’s discuss…
The Outfits
Karen, please. Those outfits were incredibly tame. I mean, you see more skin at the Jersey Shore on a summer day. Heck, you see more skin on the beloved Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition covers (and if you don’t believe me, just click here). The way everyone was talking I thought they came out in tassels and a g-string. Maybe some nice S&M chaps or something. I’ve seen sexier costumes on ten year olds in a dance competition. Now that’s disturbing.
I’m not a dancer, but even I know that it wasn’t all skin we were seeing there. We were seeing a whole lot of really thick dance-y kind of stocking like thingies. So everyone just chill out over the outfits, because jeez-louise you see more butt cheeks and crotch shots at a gymnastics meet, and nobody ever freaks out about that.
And we do know, of course, that women have like, actual bodies? We’re not really shocked by the idea of Shakira and JLo having, like belly buttons and asses, are we?
(Oh, wait. I forgot we’re making all these judgments based on biblical values, which some people think come from God but actually are more likely aligned with ancient Judeo-Roman patriarchal purity constructs that really wished women didn’t have bodies, except when men wanted to penetrate them — but only then. Also, pretty sure God knows women have bodies.)
Because here’s the thing — if it was just the shocking fact that women have bodies you’d be freaking out about the cheerleaders, too, right?
Right?!?
You know. Those scantily clad women who parade around at every single professional football game, shaking their boo-tays?
No, I don’t think it’s their bodies or their outfits that really bother you.
I think what bothers you is that they were using their bodies to express their own power and self-agency.
I think they were using their bodies to claim space, and the fullness of who they are, and their presence as fully human entities (and by the way, being fully human includes their sexuality) and THAT makes some people hella uncomfortable.
We don’t freak out about barely dressed cheerleaders because they are properly in their place — on the sidelines, cheering on the men on the field. They are not front and center, taking up space, commanding attention, asserting their power and practicing self-agency over their bodies. The cheerleaders — who are athletes in themselves — are treated as an ornament on the side, there to serve the male gaze. But JLo and Shakira? They were there to say, I’m here. I’m proud of who I am. I am powerful. And you can look because I said you can look.
Yes, Karen. That’s empowerment.
So if you’re going to be upset, fine. Go ahead and be upset. But let’s be real about what’s bothering you. Repeat after me:
It really bothers me that Shakira and JLo had the nerve to express the fullness of their humanity with power and self-agency. And I’m highly offended that they have asses also! The fact that they dared to meet every single beauty standard we throw at them — and do it damn better than most women their age! — well, hrumph! That’s just in-damn-excusable.
There. That’s better.
The Dance Moves
Have you ever explored the way your mind has been colonized to think that America has a certain way to dance that is appropriate and all other ways are somehow…not?
Go ahead — tell me about a dance that is solely American.
Square-dancing might be the closest thing we’ve got, but surprise! That style of dance has roots not just in Europe — it also has African and Native American influences as well.
This is America’s potential for beauty — that we might be a place that truly celebrates culture and diversity, recognizing that difference creates richness and depth. But our minds have been colonized to believe that sameness is the only way to be safe, and that people who do not have a European lineage are fine as long as they act like they have a European lineage. But when they stand on stage in a power stance and shake their hips, our European purity alarms (fed by — once again — ancient Judeo-Roman patriarchal stoicism that hated bodies, especially female ones) start going off.
WARNING: DIFFERENCE! SOMEONE WITH HIPS HAS DARED TO SHAKE THEM. HEAD MUST EXPLODE. MUST POST APOPLECTIC INDIGNATION ON FACEBOOK.
I know it’s shocking, but not every culture is as uptight about the fact that we have bodies as white Euro-Americans (via ancient Judeo-Roman patriarchal stoicism) are. And these cultures think it’s perfectly moral to shake different parts of your body and celebrate your beauty and it’s not even objectification or anything!
Call me crazy, but these same cultures might actually find other things more offensive. Like, I dunno. Maybe kids in cages? That might be offensive. And objectifying. Saying things about refugees and immigrants like, “These aren’t people. These are animals,” might be a tad objectifying. But let’s get upset about hips and asses.
Do you ever get tired of taking your morality hat on and off like, all the time? Seriously. That must get exhausting.
But all this objectifying women is causing men to molest children / get addicted to porn!
I’m going to say this once, and slow.
No.
Here’s something you need to write on a sticky note and paste to your computer screen: objectification is in the eye of observer.
When you say that a woman celebrating her own power — including the power of her sexuality — is responsible for a man’s actions you are diminishing that woman’s worth and you are also dis-empowering male self-agency.
Let’s say it another way. It’s not the celebration of women’s sexuality that is objectifying. It’s your objectification of women’s sexuality that is objectifying.
Full stop. Period.
If you claim that men get addicted to porn or rape women and children because they see a woman dance, you are saying that men are weak and incapable of being responsible for their own actions. You are participating in a culture that rapes women and children and then blames them for their own victimization. By doing this, you’re not caring for men, either.
Because probably you’re the same person who says “Personal responsibility!” when you’re talking about economics, right?
Same thing, fellas. Saaaaaammmmme thing.
Now, when, in response to your economic argument about personal responsibility, I say, “But systemic poverty,” you might say I’m being a hypocrite. You might say I can’t say there’s an economic system of oppression that dis-empowers poor people but there is no system of oppression that dis-empowers men to have control over their own urges.
And I’d say: You’re right! There IS a system of oppression that inculcates the dominant identity (masculinity) to think that their only response when they see a beautiful woman is to objectify her. It’s called patriarchy.
Because of patriarchy, women, too, have been inculcated to internalize their own objectification, so when they see confident women doing their powerful thing, they will freak out because they are being reminded of their own power and how they’re afraid to use it.
Listen — it’s totally okay to look at JLo and Shakira and say, “Damn, they’re hot.” That’s normal and natural and there is nothing wrong with it. That’s not objectifying. That’s recognizing the truth and the beauty of your own sexuality, and theirs. It’s acknowledging the fact that the human body is beautiful.
Here is what is objectifying: when people claim that cheerleaders are fine but two powerful women are somehow too disruptive to the male psyche to be safe. That double standard says you’re not actually as concerned with women’s sense of inherent value and self-worth as you are with how the exercise of that self-worth (or lack thereof) might impact or otherwise serve men. Or at least offer an excuse for their behavior.
BUT POLE DANCING!
Here is something interesting about systems of oppression that can get confusing. Oppressed people will often take the tool of their oppression, appropriate it for themselves, and turn it into a symbol of their own power. This happens with language often, and it creates contextual instances that can be super confusing to the dominant identities in the room, who all of a sudden feel control slipping from their fingers and they’re not exactly sure how it happened.
Wait, what? She’s pole dancing? For her own enjoyment? I mean, JLo is crazy rich and powerful. She doesn’t need any of us to shove dollar bills into her (perfectly acceptable by comparison) dance costume. So you might say she is contributing to the objectification of women, but remember: objectification is in the eye of the observer. So if you see an object when that human is on that pole, rather than a incredibly fit and athletic woman, that’s on you.
You’re not mad because she was pole dancing and pole dancing is somehow bad for women. You’re mad because JLo was pole dancing for her own damn self. You’re mad because JLo doesn’t need to pole dance for anyone else’s dollars because she has plenty of her own.
So what I see on that pole is a powerful, successful woman taking back a tool that has been used to oppress her sisters for decades and saying, “Suck it.” (Or, perhaps more appropriately, “Chúpate esa.”)
America, they took your field and they owned it.
If anything is quintessential America, it’s football, and nothing more so than the Superbowl. Now that we’ve determined that it’s not about bodies, and that most men will probably be able to manage their own over-powering sexual urges as a result of suddenly finding out that women have actual bodies, maybe we can talk about what’s REALLY bothering you.
Two beautiful, rich, powerful, bi-lingual, people of color took your beloved American football field and they owned it. They didn’t try to be white. They didn’t try to be tame and quiet and in their place on the sidelines. They got loud and proud right up in your face, and they did it with talent and power. They showed us what America truly is — a paradox of beautiful people and children in cages; a place where radical difference can thrive regardless of the systems of racial, ethnic, and misogynistic systems that seek to oppress them; a place where, whether you are comfortable with it or not, is rich with diverse styles of dance, language, and yes, women’s sexuality.
Meanwhile, while you promote your president who proudly claims he will grab women’s private parts (rape and sexual assault) and parade into the dressing room of young women as they get dressed (pedophilia, anyone?) please tell me again about biblical family values.
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Kerry Connelly is an author, speaker, and coach. If you’re interested in working with her or having her speak at your event or organization, feel free to book a free info call here.
